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The Poor Man has a very funny post about the recent National Enquirer story about Bush drinking again.  It’s funny, but it ignores the inescapable truth about such stories:

There is no way Bush started drinking again

To start drinking "again" would require that he stopped drinking at some point.

As the Poor Man says, Bush sure falls down a lot for a guy who doesn't drink.  And, he does.  And, as I say, for a grownup, he sure gets his face banged up a lot.  In the last ten or fifteen years of my adult life, I’ve only ever shown up for work on a Monday morning once with bruises and cuts on my face, and that was after I broke my nose dancing at a Christmas party.

And guess what?  I was stupid drunk when it happened.

In my experience, there are only two kinds of grownups that get as many bruises and cuts on their faces as Bush on such a regular basis--prizefighters and falling down drunks.

Then there's also the unbelievable amount of time Bush needs to spend, secluded, on the ranch.  Where, coincidentily, he seems to get a lot of those bruises and cuts on his face from "clearing brush" and "bike riding". 

Though, some of his worst injuries have been from eating pretzels.  Sometimes, they're just bizarre.

Plus, look at that red nose.  What's he trying to do?  Guide Santa's sled?

And sometimes, Bush appears, at midday, in front of reporters, completely brain fogged, in the kind of way you might remember from college, when you showed up at that eight o’clock class after being out until five in the morning.  And you were showered and properly dressed, and looked like a normal human being, but when you opened up your mouth to speak, you, insanely said, “Peeance, freeance” and didn’t even notice that those sounds you were making were not words.

Because you were still so damn drunk.

And there's that nutty weird thing where Bush requires that all state functions end by nine o'clock because "he needs his sleep".  A more skeptical person might say that nine p.m. is about as late as a hardcore alcoholic can make it before he needs a damn drink.

So, no, sorry Enquirer readers, Bush has not started drinking againBush never stopped drinking in the first place.  You'd have to be the most credulous moron in the world to think he did.  You'd have to be dumb enough to believe...I don't know...what?  That Bush won Florida in 2000.  That Saddam had an awesome stockpile of weapons of mass destruction!  That freedom is on the march in the new Islamic Republic of Iraq!  That cutting government revenue while increasing government spending is good, sound, conservative fiscal policy!  And saving you tax dollars!